The Amazing Anus

** Not intended for all audiences. Viewer Discression Advised. **

It's such a pleasure to study medicine.

Daily we dive head first into the ultimate taboo subjects. I get to spend ALL day talking about people's unmentionables - their body parts, personal functions and intimate habbits. Topics the average american rarely speaks of - or at least rarely mentions outside their Dr.'s office.

Well I'm happy to announce - Here I am world - ready to hear about your bodily dysfunctions.

[insert picture of Lucy from Charlie Brown - 5cents per session in front of her wooden booth]

Yesterday at 8am we were introduced to the tall, strong, confident, deep voiced Dr. C - the only female MD at a prominent Colon and Rectal clinic in Oregon. Truly a fascinating lecture - the most intrigued I've been all year. Surprise? Not really. As most of you know, stories of gross and interesting bodily behaviors have always been my favorite - much to your expense during meal time stories.

Sitting in lecture was truly a pleasure! 4 hours straight of colons, pruritis ani, fissures, hemorrhoids, fecal incontinence, prolapses, abscesses, sphincter pressure and the amazing anus.
Complete with pictures.

Pure Fun.

Let's all take a moment and celebrate the anus (techically the rectum I should say). It's a medical term so I'll use it unashamedly - you all need to get more comfortable with these words. Imagine life without our fair friend - the few inches of highly innervated circular tissue at the bottom of our long tortuous food canal. It's constantly acting as a reservoir - at the end of which is the little, tightly wound sphincter muscle - the famous gatekeeper - our friend every minute of everyday.

(In case you didn't know, sphincter is my favorite word)

Our anus and its best friend sphincter are a specialized team. The dream team. One of the smartest muscle teams in the body. Think about it. Open your mouth - insert a cookie, an ounce of milk, and some helium gas. Not so hard, huh?

Now bend over forward and let ONLY the gas escape from your lips without losing any of the other contents.

Pretty impossible. Well - this is what your anus and sphincter do EVERY DAY!! A miracle, don't you think?

So let's all pause to take a second and thank our little (or big) back sides - for all the work they do day and night to keep us clean and dry.

For your reading pleasure I took it upon myself to record the best nuggets of insight straight from the fabulous Dr. C....enjoy!

"...I know the butt like the back of my hand..."
"Your rectum is truly one of the smartest parts of your body..."
"...you can only stretch your butt so much with out it hurting..."
"... doc ... I got a pull tab down by my anus..."
" ...they can be little, they can be big, but if you see a big red butt cheek - then holy hannah - send them away..."
..."use a little needle...but brace yourself - it'll hurts like heck..."
"...found impacted stool the size of your head....weighed it....unfortunately we don't get paid by the pound...she was so thankful...."
"...just cut the edges....leave a little sac...let the puss drain out....don't need to torment them...."
"...she said "I feel like I have a twinky in my butt....".... I looked ... and in fact it was like a monster twinky hanging outside her butt....I told her .... we have a date in the operating room later today...."
"...the procedure...it's basically like hotwelding the vessels...to the sides of the anus..."
"....it was a larger man...absess....literally 1 liter of puss....yes, I measured it...."
"...bad butt organisms killing your tissue...we tried to save the testicles...it was a hard surgery"
"...I filleted open her rectum....I cut through her sphincter...then I basically had to reupholstered them...."
"....now you go out and save the bottoms of the world..."

Man I love PA school

Break From Reality

Everyone needs a break now and then.

Whether you're busy or bored, stressed or stagnant - there's health and vitality in stepping from your narrow world - to the full-sized world of someone else.
Even in the midst of PA school - a touch of reality is necessary.
With only ONE exam this week - instead of the usual two or three - Chris and I seized the opportunity to catch up (for 12 hours) with the dearly loved folks of Washington.

Saturday proved to be a whirlwind of a day.
I won't include the plethora of details - but it was a great day.

Sunny. Warm. SEATTLE.

Things we learned or did while on our 12 hour tour...
~ Chris and I were in the same room/vehicle for > 4 hours in a row...first time while conscious in many weeks
~ I had (several) fabulous Mimosas before noon - thanks Lacey
~ my big brother Brian is House Hunting! Good luck, bro
~ bridal showers are MUCH different and less mysterious as a wife than as a fiance'
~ little Brother-in-law Ryan has a girlfriend! woohoo!
~ my medical stories are becoming rated PG-13 - and are officialy inappropriate for dinner table conversation
~ inappropriate medical stories are best told using your INSIDE voice....especially in restaurants
~ Seattle will always be our true home - what a pleasure it is to know our way around
~ but....Hillsboro is starting to feel quite cozy
~ we miss everyone dearly

There is life outside Pacific University.
I can't wait to be reintroduced to society someday...

(the above picture is Bride-To-Be Lacey (middle), with proud Mother-in-law Joyce )

A fraction of the way...

October 12

a random day
a chilly fall day
a Wednesday
hump day
a tired day
a day of pure fatigue
a day of CHF, antacids, chemotheraputic agents & a 4 hour exam
a day of difficulty

a day completed
a day of hope
a glimmer of light...

THE 1/2 WAY POINT

Can you believe it?
Can I believe it?
It is true.

I am officially 1/2 way done with my first year

the supposed WORST year -
of physician assistant school.

Praise be to GOD.
I think I need a drink.

Sunday

"...beyond the passion
and fatigue
I know You're there
and that the spirit is
leading me
somewhere
beyond all this..."

~Rich Mullins

Do you ever have one of those amazing mornings - Sunday Mornings - where you feel like God orchestrated this intentional constelation of ideas, stories, songs, Words, people - all into one great 3 hour stretch?

Well that was me today.

It started with a great autumn run, a thoughtful story on 'this american life', a devotion, an old friend at church, a new friend at church, a perfectly sung version of U2's "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" ...
random but excellent...
and it was all capped off by the BEST sermon ever - written by God - and delivered from the heart and mouth of
my husband Chris.

Perfect

It is mornings like this that I can't believe I'm here.
I am reminded that there is a HUGE plan at work - I'm just a tiny but precious player in it all.

Starbucks Wisdom #1

"Embrace this right now life while it's dripping, while the flavors are excellently woesome. Take your bites with bravery and boldness since the learning and the growing are here in these times, these exact right nows. Capture these times.
Hold and kiss them because it will soon be very different".

~ Jill Scott , Musician
back of my starbucks cup today

Since becoming a triple grande girl, my cups are larger - more room for great quotes. I know it's cheesy to view life through the secular kaleidoscope offered on the cup of coffee I drink each day - but gosh - some of these quotes are worth reading.

keep an eye out
starbucks wisdom is not to be ignored

Rain

"To be interested in the changing seasons is ... a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring"
- George Santayana

There is a special tree - deep down in the rural Northern California Valley - that sits humbly in front of 1518 Norden Way. A Special Tree. It was MY tree. I rode (the parents still deny it) in the back of the old chevy pickup in 1981 as we brought it home from the nursery. I watched as it found a new home in our front yard - then watched as it grew, as I did, into a taller and fuller version of itself. And like me - the tree was always wonderfully beholden to the seasons. I loved to sit and gaze at it from my big bedroom windows - each month as the leaves went from deep green of lush spring, to the bright yellow-green of hot summer, to the dusty red of fall - then to finally succomb to the power of winter's pull as they fell to the ground.
The thin wiry branches that remained braced for the rain - and on went the persistent cycle as my childhood spilled into adulthood.

I am thankful for my perspective of seasons. I'm now in Oregon, a grown woman, far from home and far from my tree. And recently my own 'leaves' have turned dusty red and are beginning to succomb to the pull of winter - the pain and trials of a new season. I realized early on that life was full of them, each waxing and waning into one another. One season cannot be rich or delightful unless it had been purchased by the one before it. For the last few years I have been purchasing this season - I had a wonderful courtship, a fullfilling job, an exciting wedding, a rich & relaxing first year, and an amazing acceptance letter to Pacific University.
So now I change seasons - embracing trials, sacrifice, painful truths and wonderful lessons.

Lord help me to keep my eyes on you as my thin branches brace for the rain. Be thou my vision and my perspective as I feel pressures of selfishness, of pride, of inadequacy. Remind me of Colossians - that I'm 'chosen, holy and dearly loved'. Remind me to keep my eyes on my fellow students around me - on the seasons they will endure during this time as well. We'll all have winter - and for some it will be long. Let me be your light. Clothe me with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience. Give us grace to bear with one another.
And on my barren branches cloak me with love, which binds them all together in unity.

Thank you for the rain.
Let it come.